4 Common Myths About Divorce and Children

 Posted on February 21, 2020 in Family Law

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, literally thousands of kids in the United States weather the fracturing of their family each year. Parents often head into their divorce with trepidation and worry, fearing the absolute worst. After all, there are so many studies and countless experts who say divorce can have a significant impact on a child’s life. However, the end of a marriage does not have to derail your kid’s childhood. It is completely possible for you and your child to make it through a divorce happy and healthy. First, you have to dispel the myths relating to how divorce affects kids. Then, you have to create a plan for handling the process. Last, you should find a skilled divorce attorney who understands the technical legalities and who can protect your child’s best interests in a court of law. Take into account the following myths as you move forward with the divorce process:

1. Toddlers Suffer Less Trauma Than Pre-Teens and Teens

People often assume that trauma is less likely to occur in toddlers, because they are not able to form adequate memories. However, science shows that being exposed to conflict during their upbringing can have devastating effects on a child’s development. To be clear, it is not the divorce that causes issues. Instead, it is the fighting and arguing in the marriage. Therefore, if your child is young, and you are divorcing, you will want to work hard to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of your little one.

2. Divorcing Parents Should Have the Same Rules

Parenting differences are common in marriage -- and those differences are sometimes at least partially responsible for the breakdown of a relationship. Unfortunately, many parents are told that they need to enforce the same rules once they separate. This can even be a major source of contention during the divorce. Thankfully, studies show that divorced parents can have different rules and ways of living in their respective homes without harming the mental and emotional health of their child. In fact, those differences are often beneficial for the child, since he or she will learn how to adapt and be flexible in various situations.

3. Children Only Suffer from Emotional Trauma

Divorced parents are often hyper-aware of the emotional state of their child, which may cause them to miss the other potential effects of divorce. Physical symptoms, such as weight loss, insomnia, and a compromised immune system are just a few of the common ailments chlidren may experience due to stress. If you notice these signs in your child, you may want to consider counseling and make an appointment with your pediatrician to ensure your child's health is prioritized.

4. You Have to Protect Your Child from the Divorce

Well-meaning parents often attempt to protect their children from divorce by hiding it until things start to change. Alternatively, they may gloss over the truth to make their child feel better. Sadly, these approaches usually end up doing more harm than good. Your child will senses tension at home and recognize conflict between you and your spouse. Rather than trying to lie or cover things up, be honest with your child. Deliver the news in a way that is free of backhanded comments, animosity, and subtle jabs at the other parent.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Children tend to fare best in divorce when matters are amicable. Managing the legal details requires the assistance of a professional legal advisor who can help protect your child’s best interests. A skilled, dedicated Bloomingdale child custody attorney will guide you through the proceedings and help you determine the best ways to handle child-related issues. Call Mevorah & Giglio Law Offices at 630-932-9100 and schedule a private, personalized consultation.

Source:

https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/myths-how-divorce-hurts-children-parents/