How to Talk to Your Children About Divorce

 Posted on January 21, 2014 in Family Law

If you are a parent facing divorce, you may be overwhelmed with the idea of breaking the news to your children. Divorce is scary in itself, but throwing kids into the mix can make it even more difficult. However, it is possible to reduce the stress sitting down and having “the divorce talk” with your kids if you prepare correctly and follow a few simple steps.

When preparing for your conversation, you and your spouse should sit down together and write out exactly what you will say. It is important for the two of you to agree on what you will and will not tell the kids, especially if you are unable to give the speech together. Planning things out will help you to avoid sending your children mixed messages and adding even more chaos to the situation.

When you are planning things out, be sure to also plan when and where the talk will happen. For example, you do not want to break the news to your children the evening before someone’s big soccer game or at a time when you have relatives visiting.

When scripting your talk, there are a few things you should be sure to include. First of all, your children deserve to know the truth about the situation. However, this does not mean you need to get into every sticky detail. Try something simple and straightforward, such as “We just can’t get along anymore.”

The reasons you give can vary depending on the age of your children. Let your kids know that no matter what happens with mom and dad, you will never stop loving them. Assure them that you will both still be there for them and that you will still be a family-just a different one. Be sure to be honest and address any changes that will occur in their lives so they can prepare themselves, let your kids know that you will all work through the changes together, step by step.

Divorce is hard, and divorce involving children can be even harder. If you are a parent facing divorce, do not go through it alone. Contact a dedicated Illinois divorce attorney to assist you in preparing for your talk and helping you with the process itself.